Sunday, January 27, 2013

Antidotes for an Out of Control LIfe ~ Less is MORE

If you follow golf, the politics of taxes or life in California, then you may have heard this week that Phil Mickelson got into some trouble for saying that the taxes in CA are now so high that he might consider leaving the state. While some people agreed with him and said he should move to FL or TX where there is no state income tax, others said that he should just be thankful for what he has financially and pay his fair share. I think Phil just wishes he had kept his mouth shut, but he didn’t and there is a reason he didn’t. He was stressed. The lead stressor in life today for all of us is money. It doesn’t matter if we have a lot of money or a little, financial concerns are the number one cause of stress for all of us. Financial issues are also the number cause of divorce and in those relationships it isn’t always the lack of money that creates the strain but a difference in attitudes towards money and how to spend it that creates the tension and division.


But it is not just in our own lives and families that financial concerns top the list of stressors, it is also in our nation. Most polls today show that the #1 concern we have for our nation is the financial crisis we face. Whether it is the mortgage crisis and home values or taxes, debt and spending – as a nation we are stressed and anxious about our financial future. After the fiscal crisis of 2009, people rallied around two main causes of our financial meltdown. To sum it up, one side said it was the greed of Wall Street and the fact that there were no financial controls on what was taking place in the stock market that created the problems, but the other side said it was a political agenda which created regulations which forced banks to lend money to people who had such bad credit that they would never be able to pay off what they borrowed. While there is probably some truth on both sides, neither side addressed the real cause of the problem. The cause of our financial problems whether it is at the national level or the person level, the cause is not a fiscal problem – it’s not a money problem – it’s a spiritual problem and it is a spiritual problem that has plagued us for a long time.

In the 4th Century there was a Christian teacher and theologian (Evagrius Ponticus) who compiled a list of 8 evil thoughts that 200 years later in 590 AD, Pope Gregory I turned into what we know as the 7 deadly sins. These sins are lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. Now the original Greek word for lust used in this list was luxuria where we get the word luxury which can also mean reckless extravagance and indulging in more than what we really need in life. Gluttony can mean the same thing. We think of it terms of just food and we often picture a glutton as someone sitting down at a table and just shoveling rich food into their mouths, but gluttony can also mean an over indulgence and over consumption of anything.

So luxuria, gluttony and greed are the first 3 of the 7 deadly sins… do you notice something about them? They all have something to do with money and wealth and possessions. They all have to do with this desire we have for more possessions, more food and more money. So the root cause of our financial problems is not primarily a fiscal issue, it’s not a money issue, it is a spiritual issue. We simply desire more and more of everything. As the Bible says, it is the love of money that is the root of all kinds of evil. It’s not money that’s the problem it is our love of money. It’s our desire for more money. It is our lust and gluttony and greed that are the problems.

Jesus sums up this spiritual issue in Matthew 6:21.  When our treasure is on earth and found in our home values, IRA’s, bank accounts and investments – then that is where our heart is which means those are the things that we love and trust in and as long as these earthly treasures are secure – everything is fine, but when they are threatened, when, as Jesus said, they are in danger of moths consuming and rust destroying, then our lives begin to spin out of control. That is what began to happen in 2008.

Up until that time we had lived with 3 basic financial assumptions. The first was that our incomes were always going to go up. Every year we were almost guaranteed a raise, if nothing else we were assured of a cost of living raise. The second assumption was that the stock market would always go up. There might be highs and lows and even some painful corrections at times, but we assumed the value of our investments would always rise. The third assumption we made was that the value of our homes would always increase and always be secure. Real estate was the one place we could invest our money where we could be sure that moth would not eat and rust would not destroy, it was the safest of all investments, until about 2008. Now real estate and home values are as shaky and risky as anything else.

So for many years we placed our faith in these 3 basic assumptions, but in 2008 when the value of housing started to fall and the stock market started to fall and people either lost their jobs or didn’t receive any kind of raises but actually had to take pay cuts in order to keep their jobs, things started to crumble. The things we trusted in started to come apart. Again, the problem wasn’t financial as much as it was spiritual, we had placed our faith and trust in the basic assumption that our incomes and investments would always go up so it was ok to desire them more and more.

In many ways it is this desire for more that gets us into trouble. It was the desire for more that got Adam and Eve in trouble. Think about it, they were told they could have everything in the garden – everything, except the fruit from one tree, and what was it that they began to desire? It was the fruit from that one tree. They weren’t content with what they could have, they wanted more, they wanted it all. In many ways it is that desire that leads us into trouble. When our desire is for more in this world it leads us to make foolish financial decisions. We buy things that we can’t afford and we live beyond our means which means that we are living on tomorrow’s money today and that does just one thing, it makes us a slave to our money. Whether it is as a nation or as a family – when we live on tomorrow’s money today, when we mortgage our future for the things we want today – we became a slave to money, which creates stress and begins to spin our lives out of control because as Jesus said, we can’t serve two masters.

We were created to serve God, we were created to desire God and live a life in relationship with God above all things, but when we replace our desire for God with a desire for things, we are no longer serving and loving God, we are serving and loving money and that becomes the focus and priority of our lives.

So what is the antidote to this out of control living? What’s the answer? The answer is the same one we heard on the very first week of this series. When our lives are too busy we have to just stop. We have to stop and admit that our lives are out of control and that we need to live differently and we call this repentance. Repentance means to turn, it means we stop the direction we are going and we stop doing what we are doing and we confess that the way is wrong and not the way God wants us to live. We stop and begin to make some changes so that we can go in a new direction. The antidote to the stress and confusion that our financial problems create isn’t to sit down and make a budget or cut up our credit cards or refinance our homes – which might all need to happen by the way - but that is not the answer, the real answer is to repent. The real antidote to our out of control financial lives is to free ourselves from the spiritual desire we have for more in this world and cultivate a deeper desire and hunger for God.

If we go back to Matthew 6 we see that Jesus said this very thing. Look at Matthew 6:33. Seek first God and the kingdom of God. Seek first God’s will, God’s direction and God’s desire for our lives. If we get this relationship right, if God and his will become the priority in our lives, everything else begins to fall into place. When we begin to live according to God’s word and will for us, then the issues we struggle with and worry about will begin to work themselves out, and this includes our finances. So the question becomes, how do we practically place God before our money? How do we begin to seek God’s kingdom first, desire God more than the things of this world and trust God more than we trust our money? The Bible has one clear answer, and honestly, it is an answer we talk about a lot, but makes most of us uncomfortable. The answer is tithing and giving 10% to God.

I realized something this week, this issue seems to make us all squirm in our seats a little bit which shows me that this is a spiritual issue. It makes us uncomfortable because many times it is our money in which we trust. Do you know that Jesus talked more about financial issues and faith and trust in the things of this world more than he talked about anything else and that’s because he knew it was a deep spiritual issue for all of us. So I want to talk about tithing for just a moment, but please understand that I am not talking about it as a financial practice as much as a spiritual practice. I am not encouraging us to tithe in order to meet the church budget, I am encouraging us all to think about tithing as a spiritual discipline that will help us place more faith and trust in God which in turn can free us from being a slave to our finances and maybe bring solutions to our financial problems.

Tithing is the practice of giving God one tenth of what God has given to us. In the Bible, this tithe or offering was to be of the first and best of what people had been given. So for those who grew crops they would give a tenth of the fruit from their first harvest and they gave their first fruits because those were always the best. I think they also gave their first fruits in order to make sure that they actually gave God something. If they waited until the end of the harvest, not only would the produce be bad, but there may not be enough. For those who tended flocks of sheep and goats and cattle they would give the best of the flock, the unblemished animals to God. The offerings they gave weren’t the damaged animals that weren’t any use, it was their best. By giving God their first and best, the people were making a spiritual statement to themselves, to God and to the world. They were saying “I love God and I trust God and am seeking God’s will in my life more than anything else”. Giving the first and best tenth of what they had also freed people from the stranglehold of greed because it said, “I do not need this to survive – what I need to survive is the power and presence and blessing of God”.

Giving to God today is the same thing – it is a spiritual discipline. We give primarily to free us from the hold that money has in our lives. We give to God to free ourselves from the first 3 of those 7 deadly sins. We give a tenth to God to say to God, I love you and I trust you more than the things of this world. When we don’t tithe, when we rationalize to ourselves that I can’t give that much because I won’t be able to survive financially in this world then what we are saying is that God is not first in our lives and that we don’t trust God to provide for us.

I have to say this again, if we don’t tithe because we don’t think we will be able to survive financially in this world, then what we are saying is that God is not first in our lives and that we don’t trust God to provide for us. When we rationalize all the reasons why we can’t give a tenth of our income and resources to God, what we are saying is that we don’t trust God to care for us or provide for us. Tithing and giving our first and best to God is a spiritual issue it is not a financial issue and it is one we have to get serious about. And let me be clear that tithing is something that is difficult for people at both ends of the financial spectrum.

When people aren’t making a lot of money each week, the thought of tithing is difficult. For example, when you only make minimum wage on a 40 hour a week job, your take home pay is $290 which hardly seems like enough to live on so how could we possibly give $29 dollars to God. Think about it, that’s a $20 bill and a $10 bill each week and it seems impossible on such a small income that we could give this much and still survive, so many people just won’t do it. They honestly think they can’t. But the same struggle affects people at the other end of the income bracket. For someone making 100,000 a year, a weekly tithe would be close to $200. That would be 2 $100 bills every week. That’s a lot of money to give away every week and many think it is just impossible to do it.

So whether it is $30 or $200, tithing is a struggle for people at all income levels, which tells us very clearly that this is not a financial issue it is a spiritual issue and as long as we trust in our money more than we trust in God – we are a slave to our money. What frees us from this bondage is actually giving to God. What frees us from slavery and deepens our faith and trust in God is actually doing what God calls us to do and giving to God the way God calls us to give. In this case, less really is more. Less money in our pockets means more faith and trust in God and that is one of the first steps in bringing our lives back into focus.

If stepping into tithing seems impossible, then I would invite you to take this year to do it. Figure out what % of your income you are currently giving to God and if it is not at least 10%, then commit to increase your giving by 1% each month. If you do, then by Christmas you will be tithing and I guarantee – no actually God guarantees that if you do it you will be stronger in your faith and your needs will be cared for. That is what Jesus says in Matt 6:33.

When we place God first by entering into this faith journey of giving our first and best to God, then all the things that the people around us worry about, our finances, will be cared for. It won’t mean we will have all we desire, it won’t mean that all our financial burdens will go away or that we won’t have to make some difficult decisions, but if we will trust God more than our money – God will provide for us and the stress of our finances will begin to go away.

Now let me be clear and say that tithing is really just the spiritual foundation on which we are to build – there are many other sound biblical and financial practices that we can use to help bring order and control to our lives. We can make a budget and spending plan to see where our money is going and making sure that it going where we want it to go. If we make a budget we then need to make sure we stick to it. We can start to pay cash for things so we begin to see just how much we are spending. I don’t know about you when I use a credit card it is easy to spend more than I might otherwise. We can go back to the old ways and actually save up for things we want instead of buying it now and paying for it over time- with interest. We can also make sure we aren’t buying just to make ourselves feel better. Shopping is not good therapy when we are feeling stressed – in fact it usually just leads to more stress.

John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement also gave us some sound financial advice when he said we should “earn all we can, give all we can and save all we can”. Financial planners today continue to tell us to save all we can. In fact many advise us to pay ourselves first and then spend what’s left. Something else that can help us begin to live on less would be to go through our homes and begin to give away things that we no longer want or need. The process of letting go can actually bring more health and strength and it can begin to free us of the hold that goods and possessions have on us.

In fact, Jesus told a parable about this in Luke 12. He told the story about the foolish man who didn’t let go of anything but continued to amass a fortune in this world. He built bigger barns and storehouses to hold all of us his belongs because that was the focus of his life until it was too late. One night God called him home and said to him (Luke 12:20). Maybe it’s time for us to let go of things and not cling to them, to let go of our stuff and our money in order to gain more faith and trust and blessing of God.

When we are actually able to free ourselves from the hold that money and possessions have over us, something wonderful will begin to happen, we will begin to
• See more clearly the true blessings in life
• Listen more carefully to God and others
• Think more deeply about the things that matter the most
• Savor the fullness of life itself
• Serve and love God effectively with all our heart, soul, mind and strength.

When we get this right, so much of life we come under God’s control.


Next Steps
Antidotes for an Out of Control Life ~ Less is MORE

1. As you prepare your 2012 tax returns, do a complete audit of where your money goes. How much do you spend on: Housing? Transportation? Insurance? Investments?  Debt? Clothing? Entertainment? God?

As you evaluate your spending, are the percentages in line with your faith, goals and priorities? If they aren’t - repent. Stop the way you are living and spending and begin to go in a new direction.


2. Commit to tithing over the remainder of 2013. If you need to build to this, commit today to giving 1% more each month until you reach your goal. If you are currently tithing, what would it look like to give God 12%, 15% or 20%?

3. Use financial tools and resources to help bring balance.
www.daveramsey.com/tools/budget-lite for help with budgets
www.cccsnepa.org for credit counseling and working through financial problems, or call them at 814-238-3668 and ask for Ginger Cain (a member of Faith Church).

4. Practice living on less. Here is a family activity: take an inventory of your closets. How many toys, shoes, coats and books do you have? How many good clothes do you have that you don’t wear anymore? Could others benefit from these items? If so, give them away and ask God to bless those who will receive them and to bless you as you learn that Less Is MORE.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Antidotes for an Out of Control LIfe ~ Finding Peace

For the last 2 weeks we have been talking about the consequences of our out of control lives and what we can do to begin to turn things around. We have heard that the consequences of our over extended – hurry up lives is that we don’t see clearly, we don’t listen carefully, we don’t think deeply, we don’t savor life fully and we don’t serve God effectively. But there are other consequences we experience that can be more debilitating and difficult to deal with. The unsustainable pace of our lives can create stress, worry, fear and anxiety that can be difficult to overcome. Now my guess is that just like I didn’t need to convince you that we are too busy and move too quickly, I don’t need to convince you that stress, worry, anxiety and fear are things that we all struggle with because if your lives are anything like mine, you experience this.


Let me just be honest and say that as long as I have been a pastor I have struggled with stress and anxiety. While most people’s greatest fear is the fear of public speaking, that isn’t a problem for me, but I do get anxious at times leading the church. This is a serious responsibility and a huge challenge and while at times it is the greatest joy and honor of my life, at other times it creates a huge amount of stress.

The growth we have experienced in the last few years here at Faith Church has created some stress and then helping others deal with the stress and problems of their own lives and families can create its own worries. Now don’t misunderstand, I love being a pastor and I love being the pastor here at Faith Church and it has been an incredible joy and an extremely fulfilling experience for me, but it also comes with its own measure of stress, worry, fear and anxiety. I tell you this to just let you know that I am in the same boat as everyone else. While I know that the Bible says be anxious for nothing and do not worry and while I know that well over 300 times it says, do not fear, the reason it says all of this is because we do. We all are anxious about how we are going to get everything done that needs to get done and we all fear what will happen if we don’t get it done.

As we look at the Bible’s answer to stress, worry, fear and anxiety – which by the way is very simple - I want to be clear about a few things from the beginning. The first is that some fear is actually a good thing. We want our children to be afraid of hot stoves so they don’t reach out and touch them. We want our children to be afraid of strangers and dangerous situations. Fear is a natural feeling that helps keep us safe. For example, I know I have shared that one of my fears is of certain kinds of heights. I don’t mind going up to the top of buildings, but I freaked out trying to climb this fire tower that was only a few stories high. Now my fear wasn’t all bad. It kept me safe, it kept me from trying to do something foolish like hanging off the sides of the railings or climbing up the outside of the structure. So fear isn’t necessarily bad. Some fear is legitimate – it’s when our fears are unfounded, over the top or never ending that we need to take some action and get some help

The same is true for stress. Not all stress is bad; in fact, we all need some stress in life if we are going to grow. Think about our muscles, they need to be stressed and stretched if they are going to get stronger. So some stress is good we all need a certain amount of stress in our lives to help us grow, but too much stress and constant stress over long periods of time can be destructive. To give a really clear demonstration of this I have asked Linsay for some help. Stringed instruments like the viola need some stress if they are going to make any music. If there is no stress on the strings, there is no sound. If there is too much stress on the strings they can break or sound out of tune. Too much stress on all the strings can actually snap the neck.

The same is true of the hairs on the bow. Without any stress, it will make a sound, but it wouldn’t be a good sound and you wouldn’t be able to control it. But too much stress can break the bow or break the hairs. The same is true of the person playing the viola. If there is too much stress in the hands, arm and body it won’t sound good and if there is no stress, that won’t work either. But when the right amount of stress is balanced over time – you get beautiful music!

So again, just like some fear is good, some stress is good, but too much stress, worry, fear and anxiety over too long a period of time can be debilitating. Now let me also say that too much stress and fear may need more than what we are going to talk about this morning. While the Bible gives us a very clear antidote for these problems, it is just the foundation on which we need to build. Some problems we face in life need a doctor’s care. Just as too much stress on our muscles might need the care of a physician, constant stress, worry, fear and anxiety over long periods of time might actually call for a counselor. Stress over long periods of time can actually deplete chemicals in our brain that help us stay focused and able to function so many times even certain medications like anti-depressants are needed to help set things right and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, if you are in a place of debilitating fear or stress, I would encourage you to not only take God’s message from the Bible to heart and begin to use it as a foundation, but please get more help if you need it.

The Bible gives us a clear antidote to stress, worry, fear and anxiety because the people we read about in the Bible dealt with it all. We heard last week about Moses living an out of control life trying to do everything on his own. All of the people came to Moses to have him alone resolve their problems and as we read the book of Exodus and hear about the kind of stress Moses was under as he led the people of Israel through the wilderness. It was a hard job and things didn’t always go smoothly. The people of God could be difficult at times and Moses even got frustrated with God at times. So he knows something about what we go through today.

So did King David. While David was chosen by God to be the king of Israel, it seems that much of David’s life was spent running in fear from people who wanted to kill him. Jonah had stress and anxiety as he wrestled with what God was asking him to do. Ruth had stress as she was placed in a position to help God’s people but it would require her to take some big risks which always create anxiety and Nehemiah faced the fear of physical attacks as he worked to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

During the Christmas season we heard about the fear Mary and Joseph must have faced when they found out they were going to be the earthly parents of God himself. Peter and the disciples faced incredible fear and stress and they were actually walking with Jesus in this world and Paul faced fear and anxiety as he worked to spread the news of Jesus across the Roman Empire. If you think about it, the Bible is really just a collection of stories of people who were going through stressful and anxious times. Everyone we read about in the Bible faced fear, so it is a book about fear, but it is also a book which gives us the antidote to stress, worry, fear and anxiety and we heard that antidote this morning from Psalm 56.

Psalm 56 was written by David before he became King of Israel. Saul was king but David was winning all the battles and growing in popularity among the people. This got King Saul jealous so he set out to kill David. David was running for his life and actually hid among his enemies the Philistines for while pretending to be crazy. This was a time of incredible stress and fear for David and yet he shows us the answer, look at Psalm 56:3-4. The antidote to stress, worry, fear and anxiety is trust. It really is that simple, we are called to trust God.

But what exactly are we to trust? That God is real? That God loves us? That God hears our prayers and answers us when we call? What is that we trust in to overcome stress, worry, fear and anxiety? The answer to that, again, is pretty simple. We trust that God is with us.

God is with us. Again and again throughout the Bible the promise that is made to us is that God is with us. We are not to be afraid because God is with us. We don’t need to worry because God is with us. We don’t need to live with constant stress and anxiety because God is with us, which means that God’s power is with us as well. Look at Isaiah 41:10. It can’t get any clearer than that. God is with us which means that God’s power is here to help us and strengthen us and carry us through. When we are anxious and stressed we need to feel God by our side and literally holding our hand, look at Isaiah 41:13.

What is important for us to see here is that God doesn’t promise to take away the situations that cause fear and anxiety – we will always face difficult times, but he has promised to be with us through them. Look at Isaiah 43:2. We will go through times of fire and floods, we will face challenges that will cause us to be afraid and anxious, but God says he will be with us and that these fears and problems will not overwhelm us. He goes on in says in Isaiah 43:5a, do not fear for I am with you.

That’s what we are to trust; that in times of fear and anxiety, we are not alone – God is with us. Again, that is the story we see played out throughout the Bible. God was with Moses and provided for them. God was with Jonah and vomited him out on the dry ground. God was with Ruth and Mary and Joseph and Peter when they had difficult decisions to make. God was with Paul when was sitting prison and we know God was there because the prison doors opened and Paul was able to walk out. God didn’t take the fear away, God didn’t take the stress away – but God was there through it and when people trusted God, they found peace.

Peter really experienced this peace when he was in one of the most stressful situations of his life. He and the disciples were in a boat on the sea during a storm and they were terrified. When Jesus came walking to them on the water they thought he was a ghost so they were even more terrified. But once Peter realized it was Jesus on the water he asked him if he could get out of the boat and walk with Jesus on the water. Jesus said, come on. So Peter got out of the boat and started walking to Jesus. As long as Peter was looking at Jesus – he was fine. He was at peace, he had strength and he stayed above the waves, but as soon as he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the problems of the wind and waves and the reality that he was walking on water, he began to sink. What he needed to remember was that God was with him. What brought him peace wasn’t that he was able to walk on water but that Jesus was with him.

What helps us overcome unhealthy and constant fear and stress is knowing that God is with us, which is what we have to work to keep our hearts and minds centered on. We need to constantly remind ourselves that we are not alone. During times of stress, worry, fear and anxiety we need to remember that God is with us and we do that through prayer, we do that by reading or remembering the word of God and we do that by staying connected to the Body of Jesus which is the church.

When we pray – we are reminded that God is with us. When we read God’s word and recite the promises God has made to us we are reminded that God is with us. When we come to worship, take part in a small group, serve God in any way we are reminded that God is literally surrounding us. So these three things can help us trust God and find the peace we need to settle down our lives.

I want to close with the words of hymn which is really quite interesting. It may not be very familiar to us, but it is different than many other hymns because it is a hymn sung from God to us. Most songs we sing during worship are songs of praise that we sing to God, but this one is different because it is God’s song or God’s word sung to us and we need to hear it that way.

“Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.

“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

“The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”

So the antidote to stress, worry, fear and anxiety, is that God is with us and will never, no never, no never forsake us. May this truth bring us peace.


Next Steps
Antidotes for an Out of Control Life ~ Finding Peace

1. This week read the following Scriptures which remind us to trust God.
• Monday – Psalm 23
• Tuesday – Isaiah 41:8-13
• Wednesday – Isaiah 43:1-7
• Thursday – Isaiah 54:7-10
• Friday – Matthew 6:25-34
• Saturday – Romans 8:31-39
• Sunday – Hebrews 13:5-6

2. Memorize one (or more) of these verses to recite during times of stress.

3. Ask each person in your family (or in your Sunday School class or small group) to share one or two worries and fears from your daily life. Don’t try to take the worries away, simply listen and then pray together for the faith to trust God more.

4. Pray every day:
God, when I am honest with myself there is much that I worry about and many fears that I face. Today my fear and anxiety is ______________________________________________.
Remind me that You are the maker and sustainer of all life and that Your word says to me over and over again, “Do Not Be Afraid”. Increase my faith and trust in You so that I might find lasting peace. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Antidotes for an out of control life ~ Rule #6

Last week we began our series on the antidotes for an out of control life by acknowledging that sometimes our lives are lived at an unsustainable pace. We are always in a hurry and yet many of us just try to cram more activities and more responsibilities into an already overbooked schedule. According to Kirk Byron Jones and his book, Addicted to Hurry, the consequences of living this way are that we don’t see clearly, we don’t listen carefully, we don’t think deeply and we don’t savor life fully. Now pastor Adam Hamilton from the Church of the Resurrection adds a fourth consequence to our out of control lives. He says that when we live this way we don’t serve God effectively. When we are in a constant state of movement and find ourselves saying yes to more and more things, we either don’t have the time to do the things God wants us to do, or we don’t have the energy and resources to them effectively.


One of the problems we face is that many of us have a hard time just saying no. Sometimes we don’t say no because we feel like we really should be these things, and some sometimes we don’t say no because we really think that we are the only ones who will do it the right way. I don’t know about you, but I know a few people who struggle with control and people like that will often say yes to things, or just do those things because they want them done the right way, which means of course my way.

I’ll be honest; I am like this at times. Throughout my time as a pastor, there have been a few things that I have done because either I didn’t want to ask someone else to do it, or I just thought that I was the only one who would do it the right way, which simply meant my way. For example, when I was a pastor Altoona we decided to start having a coffee hour between our services, so I set it up and instead of asking others to help with it, I set it up every Sunday until I left. Now it’s not that I am some coffee hour expert and there were no special seminary class that taught me how to set up a table or make coffee, it was just easier for me to do than to ask for help and I knew if I did, it would get done and get done “right”.

Does anyone else struggle with feeling this way, or am I the only one. We just do it ourselves because we don’t want to ask for help, or we feel like it’s our place to do it, or we just think we can do it better than anyone else. Of course, the problem is that we have a limited number of hours in a day so as long as we do those things we don’t make ourselves available for other things that God might want us to do. Or we just add more and more and more to our plate until everything begins to fall apart.

There is an antidote to this way of thinking and living. If we are saying yes to everything because we think we have to do it, need to do it, or are the only ones who can do it right, then we need to learn Rule #6. Benjamin Zander is the director of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the author of the book The Art of Possibility and in that book he tells the story of two Prime Ministers in Europe who are in the middle of a meeting when one of the assistants to the host PM enters the room visibly upset. What are we going to do, he asks, this is just terrible, terrible. We have to get on this right away. And in the middle of his rant the PM looks at him and says, Karl, Karl calm down. Remember Rule #6. Instantly Karl is calm and he says, oh yes. Thank you PM, and he leaves quietly.

The other PM is impressed and begins to wonder what Rule #6 is when another assistant enters the room, again visibly upset. She is just as concerned as Karl and is anxiously pacing about asking what can we do, we must do something, we must act quickly. The PM again cuts her off and says, Maria, Maria, remember Rule #6 and immediately Maria calms down and says, Oh yes, thank you PM, and she leaves quietly. Well now the other PM is really curious about this rule and he is about to ask about it when a third staff member enters the room all worked up and for the third time the PM says, Peter, Peter, remember Rule #6 and Peter stops, shakes his head, smiles and says, Oh yes, Rule #6. Thank you, and leaves.

Well the PM can’t take it anymore so before another person has time to enter he asks his friend, what is the Rule #6? It must be very powerful to have such a calming effect on everyone who has come in here, so please tell me what it is. The other PM says, it’s simple, Rule #6 says, Don’t take yourself so darn seriously. The PM thinks of this for a moment and says, that’s a good rule. Now what are the other 5 rules that lead up to it, they must be equally good, and his friend smiles and says, there are no other rules.

There are no other rules; we just have to stop taking ourselves so darn seriously. I have to tell you that I first told this story as part of a sermon at the Union County Fair. They open the fair with a worship service and so they asked our church to come and do some music and give a short message, so we worked hard on everything thinking we would be at the main stage where we had been the year before and when we got there the weather was bad so they decided to hold the service in the goat barn because it had a roof. Now this was fine, except through the entire worship service there was an adorable little goat who stuck his head through the fence and bleated every time I opened my mouth. I am not kidding. When people sang, he was quiet, when I talked or prayed, he bleated. It was like God was right there saying, Andy – don’t take yourself so darn seriously. I learned a valuable lesson that day, from a goat.

Moses had to learn this same lesson and he did, not from a goat but from his Father in law, Jethro. Moses had led the people out of slavery and they were now making their way on a long journey into the promised land. Moses was clearly the leader and so when any problem came up, Moses had to deal with it. What this meant was that Moses spent all of time just resolve conflicts. Look at Exodus 18:13-16.

Can’t you just hear Moses saying to his father in law, I do all because no one else can do it. God appointed me as the leader and so it’s my responsibility and besides, no one else would do it like I do. And then can’t you just hear Jethro, like any good father-in-law say to his son-in-law, boy, you are a fool, you need to just get over yourself. Ok, he didn’t say that exactly, this is what he said, Exodus 18:17-19a

And then Jethro gave Moses the plan of asking capable men to sit as judges among the people so that Moses could continue to be the one to hear from God and lead the people. In other words, Moses had to say no to one thing in order to say yes to something more important. It was more important for Moses to listen to God and lead the people then it was to settle every dispute and tend to every detail, so Moses had to stop taking himself so seriously, stop thinking he was the only one who could resolves problems among the people and start delegating responsibility in order to be more effective for God.

What Rule #6 helps us do is realize that we can say no to some things which gives us the freedom, strength and energy to say yes to the things God wants for us. Rule #6 is not only good for us because it gives us time and space to do the things of God, but it’s also good for others because it helps develop the gifts of people around us. When Moses chose others to be leaders among the people he had to train them and teach them and then send them out as leaders and while there was some risk in doing this, those leaders did an amazing job and they were blessed as they served God and the people. As long as we are doing everything – we deny others the opportunity to serve God and develop their gifts and graces.

So we need to learn to say no. It’s hard for many of us, but we need to learn to say it, so let’s just practice for a moment. Can you say it with me, 1,2,3… NO. Good. Maybe it was too good, because here is what we need to remember we don’t say no to everything and we don’t say no and then sit around and do nothing, we say no in order to say yes to the things that God wants us to do. We say no to some things in order to say yes to the things that God wants us to do. Jesus told a story about this, it’s the story of the Good Samaritan.

It’s a familiar story about a man who goes on a journey from Jerusalem to Jericho. This was about 15 miles and would have taken most a day. Along the way the man was ambushed, robbed, beaten up, stripped naked and left for dead. A little while later a priest passed by and you would expect a priest, a man of God called to serve God the people to stop and help, but he was too busy. He had said yes to so many things that he didn’t have time to stop and help someone in need, so he kept on going. A little while later a Levite came by and the Levites were the people who helped support the priests. They were faithful leaders among the people and again we would think they would stop and help but the Levite had said yes to so many things he kept on going.

But then a Samaritan came by and Samaritans were actually despised by the Jewish people and so we would not expect him to help, but while this Samaritan was obviously on his way somewhere, in other words like the priest and levite he had said yes to something, he was also willing at this point to say no to his plans in order to say to God. It was the Samaritan who said no to whatever plans he had made so he could stop and help the man who was in need. He said no in order to say yes to what God wanted for him. This is why we say no to some things so that when we hear God call us to serve or see some need in our community or world, we can get involved. We say no in order to have the time and energy and wisdom to say yes. Saying yes to God is also hard, so let’s practice that too. ON the count of three can you simply say, yes. 1,2,3… YES.

So we need to continue to think about the things in our lives that we might need to say no to in order to have the time and energy to say yes to the things of God because it is saying yes to God that fills us with passion and purpose and life. Serving God isn’t a burden, it’s a joy – so while saying yes to God can be scary if it can call for sacrifice it will also bring a power and purpose and energy that will fill our lives like nothing else can. That’s why we need to say no to some things, so that we can say Yes to God and experience the abundant life that God wants for us.

Pastor Kent Mallard was the pastor at St. Luke’s UMC in Indianapolis, IN and he tells the story of when he was a student in Seminary back in the 1960’s at Boston University. In class one day they heard from a BU alumni about an opportunity to serve God and make a difference in this nation. That alumni was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the need was for people to march with him on Selma, Alabama. Dr. King was protesting for the rights of African Americans to register to vote and for a while he had the support of many religious leaders throughout the country. But one day one of those leaders was ambushed by the KKK and they beat him up and 2 days later he died. After that happened, many of the other religious leaders returned home and Dr. King was left needing people to help sustain the protest, so he contacted his friends at BU and asked if any students were interested in coming down to help in his mission.

Now this was not an easy request for these students because the clergy person who was killed, Rev. James Reeb, was from Boston so everyone knew that to say yes to this could cost them their lives. These young people had every reason in the world to say no, they were in classes, they had made commitments and it would have been easy to say no, but 22 of them said yes and one of them was Pastor Mallard.

Every day they marched to the Selma courthouse where crowds would be waiting for them and the people in those crowds shouted at them and threw all kinds of things at them, and every day they would stop on the sidewalks and pray for the people who lived there and this was their prayer, God we pray for these people who live here that their hearts of stone might be turned to hearts of flesh and that they might learn to love their neighbor as themselves. In Jesus name AMEN. In time the laws of Selma changed and the seminary students returned to school and Pastor Mallard said that his was life was changed because he had said no to some things and yes to God.

Many years later, Pastor Mallard returned to Alabama to lead a conference of UMC clergy and he shared this story and during the meeting one of the pastors came up to him and said, I was a young man in the crowd that hurled insults at you and I heard you ask God to turn our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh, and when I heard your prayer, Jesus came into my life and I have never been the same. Countless lives were changed because a few people were willing to say no to something in order to say yes to the greater things of God.

These are the kind of things that can happen in our lives and in our world and these are the kinds of things God wants to do in us when we say yes to him. If we are going to be effective in living for God and serving God and making a difference in our world then we need to figure out what to say no to in order to say yes. So I want to invite you this week to keep thinking about what to say no to. Remember Rule #6, we are not that darn important and so many of the things we think only we can do can be run just fine without us, or can be run more effectively and passionately by others. What can we say no to, not so that we have more time to watch TV or take in one of the Oscar nominated movies, but so we can say yes to the greater things of God. What can we say no to in order to love God more fully and love our neighbor as ourselves.



Next Steps
Antidotes for an Out of Control Life ~ Rule #6

1. What things are you currently doing because you think no one else can do them, or do them as well as you can?

2. According to Adam Hamilton, another consequence of always saying yes (or living an out of control life) is that we don’t serve God effectively. In what ways would you like to serve God but don’t feel like you have the time, energy or resources to do it?

3. What personal mission statement, core values or scriptures guide you life? How do these help you say “no” to some things and “yes” to other things?

4. What things do you need to say “no” to in order to say “yes” to God’s great purpose for your life?


Prayer:
O God, I offer myself to you. I say “YES” to your call. Give me the boldness and courage I need to live for you. Help me be clear about my priorities and give me the strength to say “NO” so that when you need me I might be free to say, “Here I am, Lord. Send Me.”  In Jesus’ name, AMEN.





Sunday, January 6, 2013

Antidotes for an out of control life ~ Slow Down

We live in a constant state of hurry. It doesn’t matter where we are or what we have going on, we are always trying to move faster. For example, this is what happens when I am ready to check out at Wegmans. Now this is only how I check out at Wegman’s because if I’m at Weis I always use the self-check because I think it is faster, but at Wegman’s I will first count the number of items I have to see if I can go through the fast checkout lane and if I can’t then I will scan the entire row of cash registers to see which line is the shortest, then I’ll look at how many items the people in those lines have and how quick and efficient the cashier looks and then I’ll make a determination as to which lane will be the fastest. You know you do this too, right? Now here’s the thing, how long does it take us to make this evaluation and decision, a few seconds? The reason is because we have lots of practice at this, we do it all the time because we live in a constant state of hurry.


Now it wouldn’t be so bad if it ended there, but it doesn’t does it? Once we make the decision which line to get into at the grocery store we then make a mental note as to where we would be in every other line and we mark our progress to see if we actually did pick the quickest lane. If you are like me, you never pick the quickest land which means we just get frustrated either at ourselves because we picked the wrong lane, or the cashier because they didn’t scan fast enough or the customer in front of us because they happen to be the one extreme couponer around who has a coupon for every item they are buying. What’s really sad is that there are times I do this and get frustrated and then realize that I have no place to be so why am I in such a hurry.

I was in a hurry because our lives in a constant state of hurry. The speed limit is no longer the speed limit, it is the speed minimum. If people aren’t going 5-10 miles over the speed limit on I99, we get frustrated and pass them. Microwaves don’t cook our food fast enough, just this week I ate some lukewarm macaroni and cheese because I didn’t want to leave the dish in for the extra 30 seconds. And the most popular coffee makers right now are single serve machines that can give you a cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate instantly. I’m thinking I don’t have to work too hard to convince you that our lives are too busy and our schedules are a little out of control because you are all living this way too. What is scary is that our children are also living this way.

When I was growing up I was busy, but I was busy with about two things, music and church. I was in the marching band which was only spring and fall, I took music lessons during the school year and I was active in my church. Other than normal school work, that was it. Today, our children and youth are involved in multiple sports year round that sometimes require overnight trips to tournaments. Then there is dance, concert band, district band and chorus, drum lines, art, drama, scouts and advanced classes in school so that when they graduate from HS our children already have earned college credits. But to make sure they can actually get into college they need to have more than advanced college courses, they also need to volunteer in the community and be on student government and then to help pay for the skyrocketing car insurance once they turn 16 and get their car, they need to go out and find a part time job. How they have any time for facebook and texting is beyond me, but they do! What is sad is that in these out of control schedules of our children and youth one of the things that is often pushed out is being involved in things that nurture and deepen their faith. Although I am excited that this weekend we have 23 youth on a retreat that will not only provide them some time away to ski and build relationships with one another, but also deepen their faith and their understanding of God’s place in their lives.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that our lives are out of control. The lives of our children and youth are out of control. The schedule of our families is out of control and there are consequences to this out of control lifestyle. Kirk Byron Jones in his book Addicted to Hurry says that the result of our hurried lives is that we don’t see clearly, we don’t listen carefully, we don’t think deeply and we don’t savor life fully.

When we get really busy we don’t see clearly the things that are often the most important and the things that are right in front of us. Billy Graham tells the story of when he was out in LA doing his first round of revivals. His daughter Ruth had just been born and he had left her and his wife back in NC. During the revivals Billy’s family came to visit with him and when he saw his sister in law holding his own daughter Ruth he asked her who the baby was. He was so busy that didn’t even recognize his own child. Before we get too critical of Billy Graham, the truth is we can all get so busy that we don’t see the needs of our family and friends who are right in front of us. We can get so busy with our own schedules and activities that we don’t see the hurt or disappointment in the eyes of those who need us. We can get so busy that we fail to see the beauty God placed in the world around us.

Another consequence of our out of control lives is that we don’t listen carefully. We might say we are listening to someone, but in reality we aren’t listening we are thinking about what we have to do next. We aren’t even thinking about what we are doing, we are thinking about what we have to do next. When we don’t listen carefully relationships suffer. Marriages break down, children become isolated, and friendships fall apart all because we fail to really listen.

Our hurry up world also means we don’t think deeply. Thinking deeply means taking the time to reflect on things so that we can learn from them. This is called wisdom. Wisdom is really just life experience reflected on and learned from. Wisdom develops when we take the time to ask the question, what does this mean and what does this mean for me? Those are the questions we need to ask as we read Scripture and pray and read the news and reflect on the decisions and choices we make every day. If we are going to gain wisdom and perspective in life we need time to simply think deeply. I fear that in our hurry up world where every message needs to be expressed in 140 characters or less, there is no room for deep thinking which means we will struggle to become really wise.

Our out of control lives also means we don’t savor life fully. We are so busy running from one event to the next that we never really enjoy what we are doing. We need to stop and celebrate what is taking place in our lives. We need to nurture friendships and strengthen families and we need to take time to thank God for all that He is doing in our lives. When we get too busy – all of those things suffer.

Again, my guess is that I don’t need to convince you that we are experiencing all these things because you could tell me stories of how you aren’t able to see clearly, listen carefully, think deeply and savor life fully. So what’s the answer? If you are like me, then right now what you want is the quick 3 step solution to that you can apply to your busy life and then move on to the next thing. Well, that’s part of the problem. So let’s just stop for a moment.

Maybe that is part of the answer, maybe we just need to stop for a moment. Maybe we need to stop and confess that our lives are out of control and that we need to make some changes. Maybe we need to stop, take a deep breath, look around us, look at our phones, calendars, daytimers and schedules and admit that our lives are out of control and that we need to live differently starting today. Do you know what this is called? Stopping to confess our out of control lives is called repentance. Repentance means to turn, more specifically it means turning away from a life that God doesn’t want for us so we can grab hold of the life God does want for us. So maybe what we need to do is just stop and repent because the out of control lives we are living is not how God wants us to live, it is not how God ordered the world and we know that because God has told us.

From the 10 commandments we heard how God wants us to order our lives. Let’s go back to Exodus 20. God wants us to take deliberate and intentional times to rest. Think about it, there are over 630 laws in the Old Testament and taking time to rest makes God’s top 10 list. God says taking time to rest is right up there with thou shall not murder and steal and worship other gods. God is serious about our need for rest and so it is time we started to get serious about it too.

Now this commandment begins to teach us how to live differently. Look at the first word here, remember. When we begin to slow we are able to stop and remember that God calls us to rest is because God created us to have a certain rhythm and flow in life We need to remember that we are God’s children created in God’s image and God took a day to stop working, rest and renew so we should too. This is why worship is so important to our day of rest because worship helps reminds us who we are. When we come together in worship we are reminded that we are God’s children, God’s people, created in God’s image so just like God, we need periods of rest.

God created a day to rest because rest is important to the quality of life. Rest is important to the survival of the world. Think about it, the ground needs time to rest and renew if it is going to produce good crops. Farmers will allow fields to rest for a season or even a year and even the winter is a season of rest for the ground and the snow helps provide water for the next growing season. The world needs rest because it is how God ordered it to be and we are no different. We need rest if we are going to survive in life and faith and the first thing we need to do is to remember that.

So the antidote for our out of control lives is to remember that we need rest, but it’s not enough to just remember that, we have to actually do it, application is…. (everything). So we need to actually stop doing things in order to rest, but to stop doing things is hard because for most of us, what we are busy doing are good things. Since we can’t just stop doing our jobs (remember while God calls us to take one day to rest that means he calls us to work for 6 days, so stopping work is really not an option – just to be clear!) what other things can we stop so we can have time to rest.

For many of us this might mean deciding between many several very good things, but are we willing to give up something good in order to experience the best that God has for us. Here’s the thing, if we aren’t willing to give up something we stand to lose everything. Can I say that again? If we aren’t willing to give up something, even something good, we stand to lose everything because at some point in time things will fall apart. Do you remember back to the life apps series when Scottie Showers ran on the treadmill and tried to hold on to everything? He couldn’t do it and eventually he dropped many good things. So what can we stop doing in order to rest and make the most out of the good things God has given us?

This is a difficult question and I have included it on our next steps because it is not a question to answer quickly. Deciding what good things we might need to give up requires some deep thinking and wisdom. So I want to invite you do this. Take some time to think deeply this week about what you might need to stop doing in order to rest. If you are part of a family, this might need to be a family decision. You may want or need to talk about it with your spouse or children because there might be implications that will affect others.

What we need to stop doing is just one half of the equation, we also need to ask ourselves what we might need to start doing, or do more of that will help renew our lives. So what brings joy to our lives? What recharges our batteries? What makes us feel alive and connected to God and others? If we can identify these things, then we need to make sure we order our lives in such a way as to include them on a regular basis. Maybe it’s walking in the woods or painting a picture. Maybe it’s listening to music or playing music or reading a book. One of the things that helps me renew and recharge is to run. I started to run because I wanted to lose weight, but after a year or so I realized that it helps me recharge. I don’t know if it is the actual running or if part of it is just being outside in the beauty of God’s creation, but running helps me recharge which is why if you drive airport road during the middle of the day you might see me out there, even in this weather.

Not only do our daily and weekly routines need periods of rest and renewal, but seasons of our lives need it as well. That is what Jesus teaches us. I want us to end with what we heard from the gospel of Mark because it is some of the most powerful and maybe important teaching of Jesus for us to hear today. The disciples had been out working long and hard and they were exhausted. They were so busy that they didn’t even have a chance to eat. Does that sound familiar? If it does, take heart because God is concerned about that kind of schedule. Look at Mark 6:31b. Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.

Jesus calls the disciples away for some time alone. He wants to remind them who they are and where their power comes from (not from themselves but from God), he wanted them to physically stop moving and get some rest and he wanted to them to renew their hearts and minds by reflecting on all that was going on. Since our lives are always going to be lived at a pretty hectic pace, we need to set aside time to recover and renew ourselves.

One of the things this sermon series will show us is that in many ways our lives are out of control and we are the ones who need to change them. We are the ones who need to repent, to stop and confess that things are out of control, and that we need to start moving in a new direction. The answer to the hurry up pace of our lives is to remember who we are as children of God who need to stop and rest and then we need to find ways to renew ourselves and recharge our lives so we can see clearly, listen carefully, think deeply and savor life fully.


Next Steps
Antidotes for an Out-of-Control Life ~ Slow Down

1. The consequences of a hurried life are that we don’t:
• See Clearly
• Listen Carefully
• Think Deeply
• Savor Life Fully
How have you experienced this in the lives of others?
How have you experienced this in your own life?
Confess this out-of-control lifestyle to God and ask for His grace and forgiveness.

2. In order to take God’s command to rest more seriously, what ONE thing (even one good thing) can you stop doing?
How can this free up time to improve other areas of your life?

3. In order to renew and recharge your life, what ONE thing that brings you energy and joy can you make sure you do more often?
Who can help hold you accountable to making this change?